Let's talk about porn :-)  If you're a guy, porn is probably something you're familiar with, look at occasionally, and don't think much more about. If you're a girl, like with everything else in life, the topic of porn is a thousand times more complicated:

* If he's looking at porn, I'm not good enough for him
* If he's looking at porn, he's emotionally betraying me
* Porn is disgusting and degrading
* Porn / trafficking is responsible for much misery and suffering
* I love watching porn with him
* I think certain kinds of porn are sexy
... and so on.

Personally, I don't mind porn -- I don't have a problem with it per se. I don't have an instant 'disgust' attitude to it, like people who are prudish, guilty, overly religious or judgemental. (An abnormally strong repulsion to sexual material would suggest there are some personal issues to be examined at a deeper level.) If I was to spiritually analyse porn, however, it wouldn't come up looking particularly clean or rosy. The majority of people who find themselves in the sex industry, despite what they might tell you (with full bravado) are NOT doing what they do for self-empowering reasons. The amount of money they earn might be self-empowering, but emotionally, they are probably far from sorted out.

I have a personal theory that an extraordinarily high number of girls in the sex/porn/stripping world have a history of sexual abuse, and the remainder have serious self-esteem issues around needing love and attention. And as an ethical citizen who is concerned about trafficking, sex slavery, underage prostitution and the over sexualisation of children in our society (Bratz dolls, anyone?), I am wary about where a lot of porn comes from. And having a sweet 15-month-old baby of my own has ruined everything for me: if I see a girl being taken from behind in some video, I think, "That girl was once somebody's little baby!!!! Auughhh!!" 

So: we know about sacred sex, bellydancing, spiritual sex, tantric sex, the kama sutra and Ancient World sex goddesses such as Ishtar. These are expressions of sexuality that are higher vibrational, beneficial to the chakras, come from loving spiritual intention and are genuine expressions of self-empowerment. So, then, is it possible to have ethical - or even spiritual - porn? Yes, says Feck, a website devoted to "great, and original, ethical erotica". "We started in 2003 with an idea - what if women were put in charge of their own image, took all their own pictures?" states their website. "We don't like contemporary porn; not because it's immoral, or exploitative, or unhealthy - it's just that most of it is badly made, often degrading to the women (and men) involved, but also to human sexuality in general. But it doesn't need to be." You can read about how it all works in much better detail here.

Could this be a new way forward?